Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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