She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
