Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
