he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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