He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
