Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
