Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
