you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
