Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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