doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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