my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
