did you get engaged???
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
