I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
