No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
