drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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