Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
