I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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