the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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