I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I am naked and annoyed.
COCAINE IS GR8
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
