I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
