so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
