Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
