I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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