I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
