Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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