Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
