Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
