I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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