Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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