It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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