Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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