So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
there is glitter all over my balls
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
