and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
