I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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