You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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