when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
