dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
did you just send me my own nude
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
