White coat. Heels.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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