Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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