I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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