I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
