he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
only if we run a train.
done.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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