Yo dont text me then not text me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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