god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
