yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
