somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
