My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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