ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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