she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he fucked my hip out of place.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
