I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
