i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
